McDonald’s has had a whole bunch of great slogans over the years. Classics like “Look for the Golden Arches”, “You Deserve a Break Today”, “Two All-Beef Patties” and “I’m Lovin’ It.”

Might I suggest a new one for them… “We no longer give a s#*t!”

Really. Has there ever been a corporation that puts in less effort than McDonald’s? The menu rarely changes and when it does it’s usually just a minor tweak of an existing product. The few times that they’ve come out with something mildly interesting they get rid of it after a few months. Their burgers are small and lack flavor, unlike a lot of the competition, and their fries have steadily declined in quality over the years.

They really don’t seem to care, but then again why should they. Their stock price has steadily increased over the years and although they’ve experience negative growth for the last four years, their net income has held steady. I guess there’s something to be said for just being convenient.

It’s sad really. Management should be ashamed of themselves. With a little effort they could be so much more, but I’m sure the executive team walks away with a nice bit of compensation so why bother.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. Their current marketing campaign is “Worldwide Favorites.” They describe it on their website as “Try some of our most popular international McDonald’s favorites, in the U.S. for a limited time. Around the world is now around the corner.”

OK that could be interesting and worth a try.

In Japan they have an Ebi Filet-O Shrimp Burger, which consists of panko-battered ship, covered with a tempura sauce and lettuce. In Austria, they serve McNoodles, which are noodle dishes mixed with various vegetables. In India there’s a McCurry Pan; a crispy bread container with curried vegetables baked in a cream sauce and best of all in Germany there’s a McNurnburger, which consists of three bratwurst on a bun with mustard and onions. All of these things could be interesting to try.

So what are the foreign favorites that they’ve chosen to bless their American customers with.

First on the list is the Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger from Spain.

The Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger consists of one of their crappy 1/4 lb (weight before cooking) burgers, topped with a slice of applewood bacon, some gouda cheese and their smokey McBacon sauce. They really went out on a limb with that one.

I was curious about the Gouda cheese, is that really big in Spain? A web search revealed the following: there is currently no production of Gouda cheese in Spain and even worse, Spain isn’t even a big consumer of Gouda; they’re not even in the top ten. Goudas a product of the Netherlands. That’s in Europe though so I guess that’s close enough for McDonald’s. The rubes in the U.S. will never know the difference.

How about that McBacon sauce. That’s probably something uniquely spanish. Here’s the ingredients list, you judge for yourself:

Ingredients: Soybean Oil, Water, Tomato Paste, Sugar, White Wine Vinegar, Capers, Egg Yolks, Salt, Contains 2% or Less: Cucumbers, Baker’s Yeast Extract, Natural Flavors, Autolyzed Yeast Extract, Distilled Vinegar, Caramel Color, Lactic Acid, Xanthan Gum, Onion, Garlic, Sodium Benzoate (Preservative), Calcium Disodium EDTA (Protect Flavor).

Next on McDonald’s list of international favorites are Cheesy Bacon Fries from Australia.

Cheesy Bacon Fries are made from Russet Burbank and Shepody potatoes and are covered with chopped Applewood bacon and real cheddar cheese sauce (note they don’t say real cheddar cheese, but real cheddar cheese sauce. I’m guessing they are two very different things) Turns out Russet burbanks are from the U.S. and Shepody potatoes are from New Brunswick, Canada. Doesn’t seem very Australian to me but to be fair they never said they were from Austrialia, only that they were a favorite in Austrailia. Using this criteria they could probably just throw a Big Mac on the list cause the mates love them.

Not to be out done, the Canadians also have an entry on the menu. The Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich.

The Tomato Mozzarella Chicken Sandwich is comprised of crispy chicken, tomatoes mozzarella cheese, lettuce and herb sauce. Nothing here very much Canadian. You would have a least thought they would have added some maple smoked bacon to the mix. Also, if you’re going Canadian, how about some Poutine, which are Canadian fries covered with gravy and cheese curds. That would seem like a natural for them. They already seem to have a supply of Shepody potatoes, but I guess they’re saving them for the Australian dish.

There’s a few other items on the menu, but like the ones I listed above, they’re basically just the standard McDonald’s items with minor changes so that marketing can build a campaign around them.

Like I said before. Zero effort. It really seems like they no longer give a s#*t!”